That Explains It
Umm.. what do we have here? A VIRGIN?! Who knew those even still existed, seriously! Oh, that would explain it. You're obsessed with feet. No wonder you've never gotten laid. You're too busy jerking off to feet to put your dick to use. Not that anyone would want to use it, after they found out what you masturbate to. You'll remain a virgin for my feet, for eternity!
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