Ok, so... I am so embarrassed to say this but this morning I was at the gym and farted right in my crush's face. After my divorce I'm finding it sooo hard to find a guy I like as a single stepmom and when I finally did... BAM. I fart in his fucking face. I know it's from the whey protein I'm taking and I'm just so upset. I cannot stop farting and they are the worst smelling farts I've ever experienced. They're so loud too! I know I am lactose intolerant AND have irritable bowel syndrome but still... this is way too much!
After the humiliation I just faced, I make my way home immediately and cannot find my stepson. Thankfully he must be out with his friends or something and at least I know he won't smell these nasty farts. I'd be turned into their private joke if they heard and smelled me right now.
I seat and call my friend Sandra to describe to her how bad I'm feeling and eventually they start becoming less and less... SO I decide to try to continue my workout at home in peace. At first I am doing squats and they're going ok... but as soon as I move to jumping squats my bowl is immediately overwhelmed and I start FARTING LIKE A MANIAC.
What the fuck do they add to the whey protein??? I have to remove my panties because they're so smelly from the sweat and gassy mess I'm making and call the manufacturer of my whey protein to complain as I lay half naked on the seat. I can't imagine what my seat will smell like after this... Gross.
Seems like it's going to be a long and disgusting afternoon...
Shot using a canon g7x mark iii. 3rd person footage. MP4.