Whoa, you really are a sick fuck. Did you really think that I wouldn't notice that my socks and underwear were missing from my hamper and drawers? You step-brother, who else would be digging through my room like a filthy little trash hamster? I wouldn't have entered your room while you were masturbating with my underwear in your mouth and your socks bound around your nose if you had locked your door.
There isn't enough bleach in the world to remove your perversion from my delicates, so if you pay me to keep this filthy secret between us, I won't tell. As a result, you can take me shopping for new underwear. You could have simply asked, and perhaps I would have provided a pair, but now we find ourselves in this strange situation. Pay me, shut up, and get the car started. Bitch, we're heading to the mall.